So with Valentine's Day now rearing its bright red head, I'm bracing myself for the onslaught of pandering hugot flicks as well as the subsequent Facebook posts quoting lines from such flicks ad nauseam. Or, more likely, I'll be holed up at home with the boyfriend, watching a non-romantic film as our form of protest to the culture of mush.
You with me? Here's my list of films that look like romantic love stories but aren't really. At first glance, they may seem like the usual boy-meets-girl BS, but then they take you somewhere else. They pan out to be masterful works of art, beautiful explorations of the human condition, colored by the many hues of love and despair.
500 Days Of Summer (2009)
How convenient that this comes first on this alphabetical list. In a way, 500 Days started it all for my generation -- it let us see relationships from the perspective of hopelessly romantic Tom, and then broke our rose-colored glasses with Summer's disconnected, empty stares. It is, after all, not a love story, but a story about love. It's a mean version of rom-com, sprinkled with just enough wit, humor, and vintage outfits to make it lovable for millennials.
Across The Universe (2007)
This love-conquers-all musical is wrapped in the chaotic, radical, psychedelic era that is the '60s. And yes, all the songs here are from The Beatles. In fact, the film serves well as an artistic tribute to the band, with their songs creatively adapted to drive the story. To name a few, there's the use of "Let It Be" as a moving eulogy, the beautifully delicate rendition of "If I Fell", and the iconic (if nihilistic) art scene with "Strawberry Fields Forever".
Cherry on top? The talented cast does every single song justice.
Part of the beauty of this film is its sharp dialogue, courtesy of screenplay by acclaimed author Nick Hornby. What's not to love?
But while the movie's grandiose dazzles us, it never allows us to let go of the core of its plot: one simple action of 13-year-old Briony Tallis that triggers the expansive story. From there, we discover the undying passion between two other characters, Cecilia and Robbie, but their romance is placed just outside the spotlight. This is not their story but Briony's, and we find ourselves more concerned with her quest to atone herself than with the ill-fated romance.
That aside, the beauty of this modern classic is how it is packaged as a psychological mystery, telling the story in a non-linear way that messes with its audience (which is why I won't talk about the plot). But it does so with a light touch, a delicate exposition that lets us feel the vulnerability of the characters, so that come end credits, we remember a sweet, sensitive love story instead of a heavy psychological experience.
On top of these, the film starkly portrays how easily the human emotion can be manipulated, particularly when attraction is involved. It also reveals the human ego and its tendency to confuse abuse with ability. So apart from being a contemplation on AI, it is also a contemplation on human flaws. All these in one darkly cool, sleekly aesthetic cinematic experience.
These stories are luminous in the original novel by Wendelin Van Draanen, but in this film, director Rob Reiner falls a bit short in translating the subtle drama of this charming tale.
Our protagonist is a sensitive man whose only true companion in this modern world is his ever-present AI assistant. This 'female' computer OS just happens to have the bedroom voice of Scarlett Johansson. The growing fondness between the two makes for a confusing but tenderly affecting tale of loneliness and the realness of relationships.
The main premise is this: We have two love birds who start out as childhood friends trying to top each other's dares, which complicate their lives as they grow up. The film swings wildly between quietly thoughtful and whimsically absurd. By the end, I resigned myself to accepting this as a dark comedy rather than a reflection of eternal love.
PS. I hate that ending.
On the surface, it's the most archetypal rom-com ever, complete with a love-song montage. But precisely because it's so stereotypical, you're forced to look a little closer as to why a modern filmmaker could possibly choose to overload on candy-colored wardrobes and Technicolor choreography. Hmm. Perhaps this isn't a love story but an indictment of the Hollywood dream? A lesson on the sacrifices required for so-called success? A comment on Tinseltown itself? Hmm.
Once is so simple and plain that its depth is clear as day. I was 17 when this quiet little film came out -- far too young to appreciate that sometimes, love is not grand fireworks and fancy dates; love is the sum of sincere deeds, of sacrifices known and unknown, of choices that are not always easy but taken anyway so that both would be better off.
I cried watching it.
Oh, and love story? What love story? That beautiful final scene at the back of the bus -- an all-white bride and her dingy lover, smiling and then disillusioned in a matter of seconds -- is all the love story you need.
If you're just after the opulence described in Fitzgerald's classic novel, that drama works mahvelously for this film. But the novel is so much more than that spectacle; its essence is in its cynical reflection on love, wealth, and the American dream. The movie, on the other hand, feels shallow in its reflection, with its emotive moments feeling forced and superficial.
The Room shows the tragic story of Johnny, whose life falls apart when his fiancee Lisa (YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA) leaves him for his best friend Mark (OH HAI MARK).
But forget that formulaic plot. Watch this film for the, erm, unique acting, the cringey script, the MANY cringey sex scenes, the clunky sets ("Wtf, that staircase!" I said upon first viewing), the side characters that randomly appear and then get shooed off the scene, the subplots that randomly appear and then get discarded forever, the many priceless meme-worthy scenes... oh my God, I can't recommend this movie enough. I cannaaaht.
Watch this movie. Immerse in the experience. Enter the inexplicable cultural phenomenon that is The Room.
-
So that makes 37. Anything you wanna add to this list? Let me know so I can binge longer, hiding in my room on V-Day like a grumpy old Scrooge on Christmas.
If we're out of decent non-romances, we can always re-watch some decent mind-fuckery, like I've listed here. Or better yet, we can come out of our caves and actually indulge in some non-romantic cheese -- like writing notes to strangers. No hugot required.
Lots of love,
hy
Cherry on top? The talented cast does every single song justice.
An Education (2009)
Based on a real-life memoir, An Education is a simple coming-of-age gem polished to brilliance. There are plenty of stories about teen girls falling for older men, but this one eludes the stereotypes of clueless damsels in distress and conceited conniving playboys. Instead, the film shows various forms of naivete, cleverness, and tenderness across both sides of the relationship. As a result, we are treated to the subtle dynamics of an otherwise innocent-versus-evil dichotomy.Part of the beauty of this film is its sharp dialogue, courtesy of screenplay by acclaimed author Nick Hornby. What's not to love?
Ang Nawawala (What Isn’t There) (2012)
I find this to be one of the more memorable movies in recent Philippine cinema, thanks to its playfully brilliant combination of music and cinematography, and to its unique plot. If you can get past the hipsterness and the konyo-ness (there's much of that to wade through in this film), you can appreciate how this isn't really a story of how shy guy meets Manic Pixie Dream Girl. It's about acceptance and forgiveness -- of family, of self.Atonement (2007)
If there's one word to describe this film, it would be "grand." A sweeping tragedy, lots of gorgeous sets, an acclaimed source material, and a creative directorial style -- it's just a recipe for greatness.But while the movie's grandiose dazzles us, it never allows us to let go of the core of its plot: one simple action of 13-year-old Briony Tallis that triggers the expansive story. From there, we discover the undying passion between two other characters, Cecilia and Robbie, but their romance is placed just outside the spotlight. This is not their story but Briony's, and we find ourselves more concerned with her quest to atone herself than with the ill-fated romance.
Before Midnight (2013)
The third in Richard Linklater's Before trilogy, Before Midnight is a lot less romantic than its prequels. And I mean A LOT. The first installation was a serendipitous meet-cute in Vienna, the second was a whirlwind reconnection in Paris. But this third one is as rocky as Greece's Mediterranean shores, finally revealing to us the frayed hems of Jesse and Celine's relationship. In that way, it's the most realistic of the three, and possibly the most relatable for long-term couples.Begin Again (2013)
This is the quintessential finding-yourself-after-heartbreak movie. But it's eons better than Eat, Pray, Love.Blue Is The Warmest Color (2013)
On one level, this film is an award-winning albeit controversial story of identity, sexuality, and passion. But it also beautifully depicts isolation and longing, as teenage Adele grapples with her unnamed unease within her gender, her age group, her social circles, and her romantic relationships. Towards the quietly heartrending final act, you realize it's not her sexuality per se that's at the root of her pain, but her role as an outsider and her subsequent longing for a kindred soul.Blue Valentine (2010)
Here's an unforgiving look at the often-cruel life cycle of love. Intense passion turns into intense pain and into irreparable nothingness. Watching this well-acted movie is like watching a beautiful shiny vase slowly fall from the shelf and break into a thousand shards on the floor -- and being unable to stop it.Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)
How could I not include this movie? At the heart of every gothic horror story is that one love story doomed forever. One could even argue that Dracula is romantic. I mean, the dude's been trying to redeem his wife for centuries! But yeah, I myself wouldn't go as far as saying this is my ideal man. However, I cannot ignore this particular film as it is the one non-campy interpretation of the timeless novel. And by "non-campy", I mean highly produced, as only Francis Ford Coppola could pull off.Celeste And Jesse Forever (2012)
A glance at the cast of this movie and you may think it's a romantic comedy sprung from Parks and Recreation or Brooklyn Nine-Nine. In a way, yes, this is a comedy -- a dark comedy about modern relationships. The story is about adorable couple Celeste and Jesse, who, despite being quirky-sweet rom-com soulmates, are preparing for their divorce. But they're cool people, so they stay friends. Close friends. You can imagine the mess. Silly and absurd as it is, it's honestly painful, and as a whole, relatable.Charade (1963)
A romantic comedy mystery starring Audrey Hepburn? Say no more. Even I, who despised the vapidness celebrated in Breakfast at Tiffany's, have to admit that I love this unrelated successor. The film's convoluted mystery won't exactly have you on the edge of your seat, and the romance feels a tad cynical at times, but the generous amount of wit and charm is enough to buoy the experience.Crazy, Stupid, Love (2011)
Speaking of comedies, here's one that doesn't take itself too seriously and ends up being genuinely hilarious. We get to witness some of the facets of love: a fledgling marriage, an unrequited middle-school infatuation, a playboy falling for a lawyer-to-be, and a teenager craving the attention of a married man. Interconnected love stories naturally bring to mind Love Actually, but Crazy, Stupid, Love is far more enjoyable than that soppy mishmash of a predecessor.Drive (2011)
Genre-wise, Drive is an action film, but its story is ushered along by the main character's fondness for his damsel-in-distress. You wouldn't enjoy this film for its story, but if you're a fan of neo-noir, pulp, and visual experiences, you'll understand why this garnered recognition from the Oscars and Cannes.Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
At its core, Eternal Sunshine is a 'Power of Love' story. Perhaps if this story fell into the hands of, say, Nora Ephron or Antoinette Jadaone, this would've ended up as just another romance flick with a twist that tries too hard. Thank heavens it wasn't, because now we have a film that validates our tearful breakdowns after breaking up with our troubled, self-centered exes.That aside, the beauty of this modern classic is how it is packaged as a psychological mystery, telling the story in a non-linear way that messes with its audience (which is why I won't talk about the plot). But it does so with a light touch, a delicate exposition that lets us feel the vulnerability of the characters, so that come end credits, we remember a sweet, sensitive love story instead of a heavy psychological experience.
Ex Machina (2014)
Sci-fi psychological thrillers involving advanced AI are hit or miss. This one's a big fat hit, not just in my books but in critics'. The usual moral dilemmas are explored: Does sentience mean humanness? Is an emotional bond with an AI valid? Do we have the right to play god and create it in the first place?On top of these, the film starkly portrays how easily the human emotion can be manipulated, particularly when attraction is involved. It also reveals the human ego and its tendency to confuse abuse with ability. So apart from being a contemplation on AI, it is also a contemplation on human flaws. All these in one darkly cool, sleekly aesthetic cinematic experience.
Flipped (2010)
On the surface, Flipped feels like a cutesy Hallmark movie or a primetime TV feature. At its center is the sweetly innocent puppy love between neighbors Juli and Bryce, but that giggly central plot is enriched by its peripherals: Juli's mentally disabled uncle, Bryce's condescending father, and the dynamics that occur within each family and between the neighbors.These stories are luminous in the original novel by Wendelin Van Draanen, but in this film, director Rob Reiner falls a bit short in translating the subtle drama of this charming tale.
Focus (2015)
Heist movies are usually fun, and this one has the added appeal of two unpredictable protagonists played by two magnetic performers. The push-and-pull between con artists Nicky and Jess is an enjoyable substitute to the love song montage in every cliched rom-com. And it doesn't hurt that this movie is stunningly shot -- a sleek, shiny ride through criminal comedy.Her (2013)
According to a thousand other sci-fi movies, the future is highly advanced but deeply disconnected. Her subscribes to that prediction, but it focuses not on the future of the world at large but of the genuine human soul.Our protagonist is a sensitive man whose only true companion in this modern world is his ever-present AI assistant. This 'female' computer OS just happens to have the bedroom voice of Scarlett Johansson. The growing fondness between the two makes for a confusing but tenderly affecting tale of loneliness and the realness of relationships.
Immortal Beloved (1994)
Who was Beethoven's "Immortal Beloved," his secret muse, his never-will-be? This movie traces back to the musician's past to find the receiver of his passionate letter. Along the way, we uncover not just a tragic affair but a wholly misconstrued life of a man plunging headfirst into his art. Sounds like the typical 'tortured genius' trope? Maybe, but this is one of the better interpretations out there.Jeux D’Enfants (Love Me If You Dare) (2003)
This French-Belgian romantic comedy has the elements you might expect from a French-Belgian romantic comedy: fearlessly passionate characters, liberal use of figures of speech ("You're becoming a tyrant, and me a cream puff"), and an endless amount of quirk.The main premise is this: We have two love birds who start out as childhood friends trying to top each other's dares, which complicate their lives as they grow up. The film swings wildly between quietly thoughtful and whimsically absurd. By the end, I resigned myself to accepting this as a dark comedy rather than a reflection of eternal love.
PS. I hate that ending.
Juno (2007)
This movie will always be remembered for three things: 1) it's one of the most remarkable movies about teen pregnancy (duh); 2) the unrealistically witty one-liners of Juno/Diablo Cody; and 3) the burger phone. What it will not be remembered for: the teen romance. I feel bad for the kids who watch this just for that.La La Land (2016)
Two good-looking young individuals meet, tap-dance, and romance their way through all that jazz.On the surface, it's the most archetypal rom-com ever, complete with a love-song montage. But precisely because it's so stereotypical, you're forced to look a little closer as to why a modern filmmaker could possibly choose to overload on candy-colored wardrobes and Technicolor choreography. Hmm. Perhaps this isn't a love story but an indictment of the Hollywood dream? A lesson on the sacrifices required for so-called success? A comment on Tinseltown itself? Hmm.
La Petit Mort (The Little Death) (2014)
I started watching this Australian movie blind -- no clue at all as to what it was about or what other people have said about it. I have to admit I ended up enjoying it. It's an ensemble rom-com, but instead of focusing on love per se, it zeroes in on some obscure sexual fetishes. The light treatment of this subject makes for some real laugh-out-loud moments without the slapstick overdose.Little Manhattan (2005)
A puppy-love story set in a sunny NYC -- this movie ranks high in Things That Make You Go 'Aww.'Lost In Translation (2003)
I've written before that I expected this film to be a love story, was disappointed, and then was happy to be proven wrong. And I'm gonna say it again: I came to enjoy the quiet aloneness of it – the soft, reflective moments amid Tokyo's neon lights and karaoke nights. This is no romantic flick but a sweet little exploration of loneliness and the need for human connection in a big, big world.Midnight In Paris (2011)
Everyone loves a Woody Allen film, right? This one has all the ingredients: an amazing cast, gorgeous production design, an attractive pair of protagonists vacationing in Paris, and several magical trips to the city's artistic past. You don't need to dissect this movie to realize it's about sentimentality and nostalgia, but there doesn't seem to be much depth to read into. Instead, this film seems to be an exercise in charm, hence the elements listed above.Once (2007)
Is this the mother of today's unconventional indie romances? For my generation, it arguably is. At the very least, it paved the way for the likes of John Carney's other film, Begin Again.Once is so simple and plain that its depth is clear as day. I was 17 when this quiet little film came out -- far too young to appreciate that sometimes, love is not grand fireworks and fancy dates; love is the sum of sincere deeds, of sacrifices known and unknown, of choices that are not always easy but taken anyway so that both would be better off.
I cried watching it.
Ruby Sparks (2012)
I see this movie as proof that just because it's indie doesn't mean it's a gem. This one sadly relies on cliches: an introspective typewriter-wielding novelist, a dream girl literally come to life, the romance that ensues. Zoe Kazan herself is a cliche (sorry). Did this movie bring anything new to the table? Not particularly. If nothing else, there's some youthful wit you could probably mine here. Take it with a grain of salt and tons of popcorn.Safety Not Guaranteed (2012)
Although the two main characters in this film do share a nice bonfire night together, its sweetness comes not from such romantic moments but from its touching treatment of the characters. One of them is eccentric, the other is nihilistic (Aubrey Plaza as Aubrey Plaza). As they take on an impossible sci-fi mission together, they reveal their vulnerabilities and overcome them, all the way to the time-traveling(?) conclusion.Silver Linings Playbook (2012)
It's amazing how this film was able to get its audiences to embrace the otherwise-unpalatable theme of mental health and turn that very theme into a crucial and affecting ingredient in a love story. Perhaps the film wasn't thoroughly realistic, but it also wasn't fantastical as a comedy. Some moments were actually quite painful to watch, which is what makes the rest of the film as endearing as it is.The Graduate (1967)
Boy, oh boy, isn't this a coming of age. Fresh grad Benjamin is 'introduced' into adulthood by the now-archetypal Mrs. Robinson, even as he tries to maintain a genuine, innocent relationship with another girl (of his age group). I imagine this film must have been groundbreaking during its time, not only for its content but also for its creative direction, stunning cinematography, and oh-so-stylish production design. Thoroughly enjoyable even in 2019.Oh, and love story? What love story? That beautiful final scene at the back of the bus -- an all-white bride and her dingy lover, smiling and then disillusioned in a matter of seconds -- is all the love story you need.
The Great Gatsby (2013)
Give up how you felt while reading the book, old sport, because this one's directed by Baz Luhrmann. That means anachronistic musical numbers, CGI-driven visual sequences, and an excess of drama to conceal the shallowness in sentiment.If you're just after the opulence described in Fitzgerald's classic novel, that drama works mahvelously for this film. But the novel is so much more than that spectacle; its essence is in its cynical reflection on love, wealth, and the American dream. The movie, on the other hand, feels shallow in its reflection, with its emotive moments feeling forced and superficial.
The Kids Are Alright (2010)
When you're a lesbian couple whose sperm-donor kids start looking for their sperm-donor dad, well, let's just say it gets complicated. This film presents that mess as a comedy, which is oddly why it's so effective in portraying some real dynamics in relationships and family. The three adults in this story are the real 'children', while Mia Wasikowska is the real 'adult' with her underrated performance.The Perks Of Being A Wallflower (2012)
Based on the bestselling Young Adult novel, Perks is surprisingly unlike any other YA story of its time. It's a pure coming-of-age, even going so far as exploring some dark themes around childhood and memory. The romantic spark between the two leads is never the point of the plot, but a tool to drive it to its conclusion.The Room (2003)
I unwittingly discovered The Room several years back while browsing through a friend's movie collection. Little did I know, I had stumbled upon a rare treasure, an unlikely tour de force, the ultimate definition of "so bad it's good."The Room shows the tragic story of Johnny, whose life falls apart when his fiancee Lisa (YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA) leaves him for his best friend Mark (OH HAI MARK).
But forget that formulaic plot. Watch this film for the, erm, unique acting, the cringey script, the MANY cringey sex scenes, the clunky sets ("Wtf, that staircase!" I said upon first viewing), the side characters that randomly appear and then get shooed off the scene, the subplots that randomly appear and then get discarded forever, the many priceless meme-worthy scenes... oh my God, I can't recommend this movie enough. I cannaaaht.
Watch this movie. Immerse in the experience. Enter the inexplicable cultural phenomenon that is The Room.
The Spectacular Now (2013)
This high school drama is much more than that. It starts off like a romance between popular dude Sutter and shy gal Aimee, but as events unfold, you realize it's not about them as a couple but about them growing up as individuals. Through family issues and college choices, the two protagonists have to overcome themselves, find their own fortitude, and earn redemption. A sweetly painful coming-of-age.-
So that makes 37. Anything you wanna add to this list? Let me know so I can binge longer, hiding in my room on V-Day like a grumpy old Scrooge on Christmas.
If we're out of decent non-romances, we can always re-watch some decent mind-fuckery, like I've listed here. Or better yet, we can come out of our caves and actually indulge in some non-romantic cheese -- like writing notes to strangers. No hugot required.
Lots of love,
hy
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